Why vote for Robert Kocharyan?

[Editor’s note: This is a sensitive issue, and we usually shy away from giving any support to candidates, but we all agreed there was enough of an emergency in the current political landscape to leave aside our usual stand. This is an important vote, and we want all of us to think before taking a … Read more

Azerbaijan wants peace for Israel and Palestine to keep on buying weapons while still acting Muslims

BAKU, AZERBAIDJAN — Forced to self-censor over their continued purchase of weapons from Israel, the presidential palace of President for life Ilham Aliyev has expressed a desire for peace in the Middle East. Asked about the consistency between his positions of support for the Palestinians and his arms contracts with those who are accused of … Read more

“Thanks Daddy for making me skip the army so I could eat this giant cake” – Nver Tsarukyan

ABOVIAN, ARMENIA — While the country is going through hard times, thousands of our youth are missing, and while we have prisoners still illegally detained in Azerbaijan, Gagik Tsarukyan’s son Nver Tsarukyan got married, spending millions on a stupid feast that made you throw up even before you could reach the cake. The happiest of all … Read more

Europe more shocked for a stupid chair than actual people being detained, tortured, killed…

ANKARA, TURKEY — In an unexpected turn of events, Turkey’s President Erdogan, known for whorshipping genocidal maniacs and being part-time dictator himself, behaved like a moron. And Europe is still shocked. In a meeting, Erdogan sat down with Charles Michel, some guy from some EU organization, and believing Ursula von der Leyen, from some other … Read more

Erdogan digs up dead generals to send them to jail

ANKARA, TURKEY — After imprisoning active members of his army for fear of a “coup,” Turkish President Erdogan jailed retired generals who criticized him last week . But he didn’t stop there. President Erdogan was reportedly seen this morning with workers in a military cemetery, giving orders to also exhume the soldiers buried there. “You … Read more