BAKU, AZERBAIDJAN — Forced to self-censor over their continued purchase of weapons from Israel, the presidential palace of President for life Ilham Aliyev has expressed a desire for peace in the Middle East. Asked about the consistency between his positions of support for the Palestinians and his arms contracts with those who are accused of … Read more
ANKARA, TURKEY — In an unexpected turn of events, Turkey’s President Erdogan, known for whorshipping genocidal maniacs and being part-time dictator himself, behaved like a moron. And Europe is still shocked. In a meeting, Erdogan sat down with Charles Michel, some guy from some EU organization, and believing Ursula von der Leyen, from some other … Read more
SIDNEY, AUSTRALIA — While Facebook and Australian news outlets fight over the latter ones wanting the first one to pay them for posting their content themselves for free, another fight started yesterday when the readers themselves wanted to get paid too. “I mean, if the news outlets get paid for that, why not pay us … Read more
PARIS, FRANCE — UNESCO recently explained why Mehriban Aliyeva, wife of president for life of Azerbaijan Ilham Aliyev, was appointed goodwill ambassador several years ago. “A lot of people seem to have been shocked that the one who is her husband’s vice president could receive this honor,” said a representative of the organization. “It’s a … Read more
ANKARA, TURKEY — Turkish President Erdogan said on Tuesday he was ready to “put back on track” relations between Turkey and Atlantis. The two nations are going through strong tensions on many issues, including the likely responsibility of Turkey in the destruction of the underwater civilization in 9600 BC. “We’re ready for healthy dialog,” Erdogan … Read more
BRUSSELS, BELGIUM — Gathered at a summit in Brussels, the twenty-seven countries of the European Union (EU) except Germany managed to convince Germany to severely sanction Turkey for its various misdeeds, the list of which is now longer than Angela Merkel’s career (in days). A spokesperson for the European Council said “these decisive steps” were … Read more
ANKARA, TURKEY – Over the last months, Turkey’s internationall image has become worse than ever. Turkish leaders don’t understand the reason for this “really unfair treatment”, all swearing to be “in good faith”. Our analysts at Semuchka have done some research to solve this problem, and after hours and hours of work, they found the … Read more
NEW YORK, USA — In an unprecedented move, politicians around the world have come together in recent days to take action against the war in Nagorno-Karabakh, saying they “are very concerned”. “We are deeply concerned for the people living there”, said a political representative. “I want to express all my concern to the victims of … Read more
