Azerbaijan wants peace for Israel and Palestine to keep on buying weapons while still acting Muslims

BAKU, AZERBAIDJAN — Forced to self-censor over their continued purchase of weapons from Israel, the presidential palace of President for life Ilham Aliyev has expressed a desire for peace in the Middle East. Asked about the consistency between his positions of support for the Palestinians and his arms contracts with those who are accused of … Read more

Europe more shocked for a stupid chair than actual people being detained, tortured, killed…

ANKARA, TURKEY — In an unexpected turn of events, Turkey’s President Erdogan, known for whorshipping genocidal maniacs and being part-time dictator himself, behaved like a moron. And Europe is still shocked. In a meeting, Erdogan sat down with Charles Michel, some guy from some EU organization, and believing Ursula von der Leyen, from some other … Read more

Australians ask to be paid to read news

SIDNEY, AUSTRALIA — While Facebook and Australian news outlets fight over the latter ones wanting the first one to pay them for posting their content themselves for free, another fight started yesterday when the readers themselves wanted to get paid too. “I mean, if the news outlets get paid for that, why not pay us … Read more

Turkey wants “a healthy dialog” with Atlantis

ANKARA, TURKEY — Turkish President Erdogan said on Tuesday he was ready to “put back on track” relations between Turkey and Atlantis. The two nations are going through strong tensions on many issues, including the likely responsibility of Turkey in the destruction of the underwater civilization in 9600 BC. “We’re ready for healthy dialog,” Erdogan … Read more

Europe warns Turkey of future warnings

BRUSSELS, BELGIUM — Gathered at a summit in Brussels, the twenty-seven countries of the European Union (EU) except Germany managed to convince Germany to severely sanction Turkey for its various misdeeds, the list of which is now longer than Angela Merkel’s career (in days). A spokesperson for the European Council said “these decisive steps” were … Read more