“Thanks Daddy for making me skip the army so I could eat this giant cake” – Nver Tsarukyan

ABOVIAN, ARMENIA — While the country is going through hard times, thousands of our youth are missing, and while we have prisoners still illegally detained in Azerbaijan, Gagik Tsarukyan’s son Nver Tsarukyan got married, spending millions on a stupid feast that made you throw up even before you could reach the cake.

The happiest of all was Nver Tsarukyan, who offered a toast to his dad, thanking him for “paying the bill”, and “making him skip that stupid military service with the peasants”, so he could know all the pleasures of life, mainly keeping on eating.

“This cake is a symbol of my ambition, daddy”, he continued. “I’ll eat it all and reach your level!”

Gagik Tsarukyan was seen crying. He still managed to give a vibrant toast to all these years of tax evasion. “After all, people of Armenia are the ones you should thank for all of this, son”.

Everywhere in the country, young widows celebrated the event by going to their fiancés’ graves, who died at the war.

At publishing time, Gagik Tsarukyan still expects to do well in the coming elections.