LOS ANGELES, USA — A few weeks before the world’s most important presidential election (except in Caucasus where we’re kind of busy right now), the Armenian community in the United States has to deal with an unprecedented situation.
Faced with absolute indifference from President Trump, and not satisfied with the latest statements by challenger Joe Biden, the Armenians, left with no other solution, have decided to appoint their own candidate for the presidency of the United States of America: Kristine Halajyan.
“She has always been here for us”, says a lady outside CNN’s offices. “She just gave me this coffee”, says another.
“I admire her ability to talk for hours without interruption,” a local representative tells us. “I don’t always listen to the whole thing but I know she wants our good.”
“Really, I don’t see anybody else who represents us better”.
Hearing the news, Turkish President Erdogan said it was time to “remove the separatists from LA”.